It is 4:00 AM
with my head is spinning with words and questions. Why as a sensitive em-path I find myself feeling the pain, problems or fears of others. That when someone has made a judgment about me, I am kicked right into the heart.
I asked my mentor what it was of sensing pain in my heart from others. Was it the negative thoughts and judgement I kept hearing. My heart implodes with negative energies of pain, hurt and sorrow. My sense it was more than just thinking, I was sensing it from those around me.
As a mother we love our children through all the challenges we face as parents. As they get older wiser independent with their own views and strong personalities we encourage them to take on the world. We protect them no matter what age they are. We feel their pain, sorrows, and fears to the point that it becomes so hard to separate ourselves. In our protection their anger and frustration can backfire and the attacks can be harsh. It makes us sad that there is nothing more we can do.
Head vs Heart
Most of the time I thought my unhappiness was a result of somebody who is not doing something for me or at least listening to another point of view. Our children want the world to revolve around them and similarly we may want the same or at least to continue to have the joy of remembering the day they were born..
This feelings of unhappiness was dependent on how I wanted or at least expected to be treated.
In fact, it’s the opposite. I found the key to staying grounded and happy was not to worry about have my child do things that make me happy. The key was to remember “It’s Not About Me” My happiness was not getting others to do things that make me happy but to sit in the joy that they too will experience the feelings both good and bad. They too will find their way out.
I remember my happiness comes from doing something for somebody else and not what I could get out of it. When I was able to step out of the center of my own life and begin to focus inward, and remember It’s Not About Me, it was then I was able to deal with the sensing of fears, anger, frustrations and the pains my child felt with greater understanding and compassion.
Maybe you have a similar story.